A lesson in law: when committing a crime, try not to do it while being filmed in front of thousands of witnesses.

Otherwise you’ll end up looking a tool, just like Akon. Akon has realised that, with evidence like several YouTube videos seen by millions of people working against him, he should probably plead guilty to angrily hurling a teenage boy off a stage during a concert.

It just shows that YouTube is king prosecutor. And now Akon has pleaded guilty of harassment, YouTube can claim its next scalp. Kittens, you are all guilty… of being adorable!

Although you may think it’s the way his voice sounds like a sizzurp-addicted Crazy Frog, Akon’s real worst enemy in recent years has been YouTube. It doesn’t matter how innocent his mistakes are, like violently dry-humping the underage daughter of a Trinidadian pastor across a stage during one of his concerts or whatever, they always end up being captured on video and uploaded to YouTube.

It’s got to the point where Akon can’t even do anything that many would consider to be perfectly normal, like dragging a teenage boy onstage during one of his concerts, lifting him above his head in an obnoxious show of authority and hurling him into the audience where he’ll end up concussing a girl, without it ending up all over the internet.

Because when that happens, it just makes it so bloody hard to pretend that you didn’t do it. Not that Akon didn’t have a jolly good bash, you understand – after he was arrested for throwing Anthony C. Smith into the crowd, Akon did his best to plead not guilty despite pretty much incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.

But not even Akon is stronger than the power of the internet, which is why he’s just decided to change his mind and plead guilty to what we assume is a charge of being a massive dickhead. The Poughkeepsie Journal reports:

In a matter of minutes this morning in Fishkill Town Justice Court, the controversial singer Akon pleaded guilty to second-degree harassment, a violation… [Afterwards] Smith walked up to Akon, shook the singer’s hand and said, “Thanks a lot.” Akon apologized several times to Smith, but was interrupted by the victim’s father, who said, “You threw my son off the stage.”

As punishment, Akon will escape jail but must pay a $250 and complete 65 hours of anti-gang and anti-violence community service. So at least something positive will come of this – Akon’s guilty plea might help rid the world of those awful gangs who roam around picking on innocent children and hurling them into crowds of people from a stage while being filmed on YouTube. And not a moment too soon, if you ask us.

More than anything, though, this has taught Akon an important lesson – if he wants to throw children into a crowd, he must only do it in the comfort of his own home away from the prying eyes of the internet. And just to make sure that nobody in these crowds is secretly filming him, he should replace them all with rows of six-foot metal spikes.

Yes, we are suggesting that Akon should start throwing children onto spikes. What of it?

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