There’s a question around Adam Lambert. A big question. A big, throbbing, veiny question. But not for much longer.
Ever since he first stepped into his initial American Idol audition, speculation has gone wild over one aspect of Adam Lambert’s life. It’s divided fans, galvanised the media and made him the most electrifying American Idol contestant for years. That question, of course, is this – what does Adam Lambert put in his hair? Seriously, that ‘do is fierce.
And Adam Lambert has promised that he’ll reveal all in his forthcoming Rolling Stone cover story. Or maybe his boyfriend will answer instead.
Look, we’re not going to beat around the bush here – there might be a chance that Adam Lambert is gay. We know, we know – that news probably comes as a shocking and completely unexpected bombshell to you. But we simply can’t rule out the fact that a small percentage of Adam Lambert might possibly be slightly gay.
What are we basing this on? It’s hard for us to put our finger on. It might be the sensitive inflection in Adam Lambert’s rendition of Tracks Of My Tears. It could be the care he takes over his uniformly resplendent wardrobe. It might be the way that Adam Lambert has got a boyfriend and has been seen out in public with his boyfriend and can widely be seen kissing boys with tongues on the internet and was recently outed on television by an American Idol judge. Or it might be easily-wounded soulful glint in his eye.
In retrospect, though, it’s probably because, when Adam Lambert sang Ring Of Fire on American Idol, he couldn’t have made it any more about bumholes if he’d actually emerged onto the set through a giant prosthetic sphincter. Yes, that’s probably it.
But because he knows that the general public at large will be shocked – shocked! – to learn that someone from the gruff, macho, definitely 100% heterosexual world of musical theatre-based pop music might potentially be a tiny bit gay, Adam Lambert has done the decent thing and forewarned us all that he’s about to reveal everything about himself in an upcoming issue of Rolling Stone. People reports:
Although he’s encouraged people to keep speculating about his sexuality, Adam Lambert now says, “all your questions will be answered” in an upcoming issue of Rolling Stone. “Finally,” he said at the 11th Annual Young Hollywood Awards Sunday in Santa Monica, where he was named artist of the year. “Once and for all” he’ll speak directly about the topic.
Did you hear that? Adam Lambert is going to answer all of our questions about him! This is so exciting! If that’s the case, forget all those boring ‘is he gay or isn’t he?’ questions – here’s what we really want to know about Adam Lambert:
1 - What’s Adam Lambert’s favourite colour?
2 – What does Adam Lambert like best, kittens or puppydogs?
3 - Why does Adam Lambert stick his tongue out like that when he sings?
4 - Seriously, why? It looks like he’s trying to hack up a hairball or something. It looks silly. Does Adam Lambert even know how silly he looks when he does it?
5 - Well, does he?
But still, it looks like the subject that Adam Lambert wants to focus on is his sexuality. And thank heavens for that, because once that’s all out in the open we can focus on the real story of American Idol – Kris Allen: is he really a lesbian part-eunuch goat? Let the witch hunt begin!
You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow ducking for cover because of your underlying hostility. Any man worth his salt would have that “wounded glint” – its the sign of a compassionate human being you idiot!
Adam is not the one focusing on his sexuality its someone else people LIKE YOU and some parts of the bored out of their little brains media. Hopefully after the rolling stone cover it will be over and done with and people will find something else to titillate them and Adam can go back to writing performing and being great and yummy.
SOME socallled straight men, possibly like YOU, could really pick up a tip or two from this man Adam. Those with an emotional range from A to B and those who are stuck in boring dead end jobs wishing they had one ounce of Adam’s chutzpah to go out there and be himself and make it happen for himself.
HEY STUART, YOU SHOULD WATCH ADAM MAYBE SOME OF HIS CLASS WILL RUB OFF ON YOU. YOU ARE AN IDIOT.YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MUSIC.
I agree, the media needs to get off Adams case for being gay. It’s not his fault. Maybe it is maybe its not. Its not fair at all that, out of the gay men in the world Adam gets the worst end of the stick. All they do is talk,talk,talk about him being gay, its tupid and childish. I wish they would leave him alone. HE’S GAY SO WHAT!!!!!!!!! He’s hawt for a 28 yr old. He doesnt even look 28. But anyway, seriously, media, LEAVE OUR ADAM LAMBERT ALONE ABOUT BEING GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
always wanting to snoop; however, I would like to know what size shoes he has…..and what brand he generally wears. THAT is much more pertinent than sexual preference or orientation and much more newsworthy.
Anya darling, have you no sense of humour?
Clare-bear, I dunno if I do :O
Mind you, I dont know if Stuart really does either. I mean there was something about Stu’s heckler spray which didnt sit fully down with me. Its this STEREOTYPING of gay men. I want us to get past that and open our minds and get that the only thing that the gay male community have in common really is they prefer dick
OK so I plagiarised that last statement from A, but you see what I mean right?
I dont want Adam stereotyped. I dont want any gay man stereotyped.
Its not creative enough, babe.
Okay, I bit, and I am whipping myself for it. How many web hits will you get for this silly piece, I wonder?
Anya said it for me very well- You could pick up a few things from this man Adam. Like
how to not step on people to get ahead or make a name for yourself.
People, people, the author is making fun of the *media and public uproar* about Adam’s sexuality. Not Adam. Even a crazed Adam fan like me can tell the difference. Deep down, way down inside, the author has a soft spot for the boy.
BTW, the tongue thing is a singing technique that helps him hit and hold those mindshattering notes. Embrace the tongue. The tongue is good.
Also, Adam has the best hair in the world. Ever.
And what sort of guy do you like Stuart? You definitely need to get laid.
ADAM: See the power you have?
Rock on baby.
His tongue is out on the powerful notes because he’s been formally trained in voice and it’s a technique to get more air to the lungs…it’s one of the reasons he’s so good, no matter how silly it may look.
You really need to do your homework. Talk to a few singers and voice coaches before you make comments about the tongue thing looking silly. That’s a recognized vocal technique which opens up the soft pallet and allows Adam to hit those wonderful high notes with ease. As for the rest of your comments, I do agree that too much press has been focused on whether or not Adam is gay. He and his family have signed contracts with AI, and can not speak about these things until AI orchestrates it. I for one am ready to listen to his music and watch him perform, and move on with the sex issue. Maybe after the Rolling Stone issue we can all do that. It’s too bad that you are so bitter. Why?
Hahahaha
Pissed my pants reading this. And I bet Adam would too.
But on a more serious note, Stuart, if it turns out that Adam is not a tiny bit gay at all (the way most of us are) but is majorly gay – as in a full blown,sphincter-busting,bum-troubling homo – then he can always fall back on singing as an alternative way to get famous.
That should cheer everyone up. We can buy his CDs, watch his vids, and get on with whatever it is we like to do with our own private bits.
Great article. Sensitive, insightful, even intuitive reporting.
Adam Fan No. 25999900
I agree with you; when it comes to bashing the media on how America ‘still might not know’. Then again, if Adam did come out (not that he was in or anything) and just say the 2 words “I’m gay” then what? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOSE IT MAKE?! My life and everybody elses won’t be altered if he ‘confirmed’ it. So why is it so important? It’s not like anyone would have a chance with him otherwise…
if it is a recogniSed technique, why do so many other, better singers not do it?
ive never heard adrian sing, but i knew this one guy at school who was a wicked cool singer – he never poked his tongue out.
he never sucked one off either. just saying.
Hilarious writing, Stuart! And note to all writers out there: from personal experience, even if you’re writing about the marginal productivity theory of income distribution, try to include Adam Lambert’s name in it and your article will get a gazillion hits.
However, PLEASE – keep sticking that tongue out, Adam. It was, and will continue to be, the trigger for multiple simultaneous coast-to-coast Adamgasms everytime you sing on TV. Watch the women at the American Idol Summer Tour and you’ll what I mean… I’m just saying, as an impartial observer…
Typo on that last sentence:
Watch the women at the American Idol Summer Tour and you’ll *see* what I mean… I’m just saying, as an impartial observer…
God Love homosexual, but hate thehomosexual sin. Homosexuality is a shameful, disgraceful and vile sin that needs to be publicly preached against… “Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.” Homosexuality is a disgusting, filthy, deplorable sinful act and ought to be discouraged in every way possible. It is shameful. Homosexuality is NOT acceptable with God. To commit the sin of homosexuality is to provoke the judgment of God (Romans 1:32).
“Behold, ye trust in lying words, that cannot profit. Will ye steal, murder, and commit adultery, and swear falsely, and burn incense unto Baal, and walk after other gods whom ye know not; And come and stand before me in this house, which is called by my name, and say, We are delivered to do all these abominations?” (Jeremiah 7:8-10).
God doesn’t make mistakes! No one is “born gay.” God created male and female, and they have natural sexual attractions one for the other, because they have male and female reproductive organs, respectively. The very idea of two men having sexual relations is against nature. In fact, the Word of God states this in Romans 1:24-28. Romans 1:26,27 state: “For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.” Clearly, the Bible teaches that heterosexual attraction is natural; BUT homosexuality is abnormal and against nature.
God doesn’t make mistakes! No one is “born gay.” If you tell me that some people are “born gay,” then you are saying that my God makes mistakes, and my God doesn’t make mistakes. Why would God give two men a “natural” attraction one-for-the-other, but then they can’t mate and reproduce because they both have male reproductive organs? That would be absurd. If homosexual attraction is “natural,” then God made a mistake. God doesn’t make mistakes! The truth is that no one is “born gay.” It’s a choice. Homosexuality is a vile lifestyle of lust, godlessness and shame that one CHOOSES to live.
What I am saying, Tony my lad, is that you clearly love the cock. All this bible flummery is fooling no-one, dear.
Gilbert God created Adam and Eve; NOT Adam and Steve! The Bible calls homosexuality (referred to as “sodomy” in the Old Testament) an “abomination,” i.e., hatred for a sin coupled with disgust. Homosexuality is not only sinful, it is horribly disgusting in the eyes of God. Leviticus 20:13 warns… “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.” This is what the Bible, God’s Word, teaches and tell us.
I am not posted this articles in here to be unkind; but rather, to take a stand for what the Word of God teaches is right. Someone needs to stand for the truth! The wicked aren’t going to do it. It is the responsibility of every born-again Christian to expose Satan’s works of darkness (Psalm 94:16; Ephesians 5:11). Gay-marriage is of the Devil. Homosexuality is gross, it is tastelessly indecent and just plain wrong, and cities who cater to homosexuals are deplorable places for decent people who love the Lord to live. Gays didn’t come out of the closet, they came out of a cesspool of iniquity.
I pray you will fine God and accept Jesus Christ as your savior and stop living that Homosexuality life stlye
the book of who? if god wasnt gay, why did he make us so sexy?
mm-hmm, thats right suga xx
hahahaha! @ “4 – Seriously, why? It looks like he’s trying to hack up a hairball or something. It looks silly. Does Adam Lambert even know how silly he looks when he does it?” That list is funny….
Speculation ends here: “I’m Gay!” and wearing a blazing hot ensemble.
I LOVE his tongue.
“even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature”
I guess women who go against their natural ability to have children by using birth control are filthy, lustful sinners and the creation of contraception are “unfruitful works of darkness”
I want everyone to know that, God loves sinners! Now God certainly does NOT love sin, but He loves the individual. How could God not love His own creation? How could God not love the object of His plan of redemptive?
What a tragedy that 95% of all the people in the world will one day burn in the Lake of Fire, forfeiting the free gift of eternal life which is already paid in full by Jesus’ precious blood (1st Peter 1:18,19). Would you like to know for sure that if you died right now, that you would go to Heaven? You certainly
My Friend: I am asking you the most important question of life. Your joy or your sorrow for all eternity depends upon your answer. The question is: Are you saved? It is not a question of how good you are, nor if you are a church member, but are you saved? Are you sure you will go to Heaven when you die?
God says in order to go to Heaven, you must be born again. In John 3:7, Jesus said to Nicodemus, “Ye must be born again.”
In the Bible God gives us the plan of how to be born again which means to be saved. His plan is simple! You can be saved today. How?
First, my friend, you must realize you are a sinner. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23).
Because you are a sinner, you are condemned to death. “For the wages [payment] of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). This includes eternal separation from God in Hell.
“ . . . it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” (Hebrews 9:27).
But God loved you so much He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus, to bear your sin and die in your place. “ . . . He hath made Him [Jesus, Who knew no sin] to be sin for us . . . that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21).
Jesus had to shed His blood and die. “For the life of the flesh is in the blood” (Lev. 17:11). “ . . . without shedding of blood is no remission [pardon]” (Hebrews 9:22).
“ . . . God commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
Although we cannot understand how, God said my sins and your sins were laid upon Jesus and He died in our place. He became our substitute. It is true. God cannot lie.
My friend, “God . . . commandeth all men everywhere to repent” (Acts 17:30). This repentance is a change of mind that agrees with God that one is a sinner, and also agrees with what Jesus did for us on the Cross.
In Acts 16:30-31, the Philippian jailer asked Paul and Silas: “ . . . ‘Sirs, what must I do to be saved?’ And they said, ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved . . . .’ ”
Simply believe on Him as the one who bore your sin, died in your place, was buried, and whom God resurrected. His resurrection powerfully assures that the believer can claim everlasting life when Jesus is received as Savior.
“But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name” (John 1:12).
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” (Romans 10:13).
Whosoever includes you. Shall be saved means not maybe, nor can, but shall be saved.
Surely, you realize you are a sinner. Right now, wherever you are, repenting, lift your heart to God in prayer.
In Luke 18:13, the sinner prayed: “God be merciful to me a sinner.” Just pray: “Oh God, I know I am a sinner. I believe Jesus was my substitute when He died on the Cross. I believe His shed blood, death, burial, and resurrection were for me. I now receive Him as my Savior. I thank You for the forgiveness of my sins, the gift of salvation and everlasting life, because of Your merciful grace. Amen.”
Just take God at His word and claim His salvation by faith. Believe, and you will be saved. No church, no lodge, no good works can save you. Remember, God does the saving. All of it!
God’s simple plan of salvation is: You are a sinner. Therefore, unless you believe on Jesus Who died in your place, you will spend eternity in Hell. If you believe on Him as your crucified, buried, and risen Savior, you receive forgiveness for all of your sins and His gift of eternal salvation by faith.
You say, “Surely, it cannot be that simple.” Yes, that simple! It is scriptural. It is God’s plan. My friend, believe on Jesus and receive Him as Savior today.
If His plan is not perfectly clear, read this tract over and over, without laying it down, until you understand it. Your soul is worth more than all the world.
“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?” (Mark 8:36).
Be sure you are saved. If you lose your soul, you miss Heaven and lose all. Please! Let God save you this very moment.
God’s power will save you, keep you saved, and enable you to live a victorious Christian life. “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, Who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13).
Do not trust your feelings. They change. Stand on God’s promises. They never change. After you are saved, there are three things to practice daily for spiritual growth:
Pray — you talk to God.
Read your Bible — God talks to you.
Witness — you talk for God.
AFTER you are saved, you should be baptized in obedience to the Lord Jesus Christ as a public testimony of your salvation, and then unite with a Bible-believing church without delay. “Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord . . . .” (2 Timothy 1:8).
Please note that you DON’T have to be baptized to go to Heaven. It is a step of obedience for the believer.
“Whosoever therefore shall confess [testify of] Me before men, him will I confess also before My Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 10:32).
God Bless you all
Where the hell did all these fruitcakes come from? They can talk about homosexuality going against th Word of God, but yet we have almost a whole country that practices hate against those that doesn’t meet the criteria of so-called straight WASPS, get real folks, this is the real world and the lot of you speaking for God will burn in Hell faster than the people you rage against. Relax, and stop being hypocrites!
Thelma you and half of the world think we practices hate lol. Where did you read hateful words in what I had posted. If you want to see the truth hateful peoples church out this
Gay activists terrorize Boston…Church
http://www.nmatv.com/video/2209/Gay-activists-terrorize-Boston-church
Why are the gay activists terrorize churches and the news peoples not covering it. If it was a group of christian terrorize Gay events we be all over the news.
I think the Gay activists are full of hate.
Some people will be nothing more than some religions brainwashed, melodramatic puppet that fear the reality of the world.
Check this out and know the truth. See how much hate the homosexuality have on us christian and to theose who don’t believe in they life stlye
SILENCING THE CHRISTIANS
SILENCING THE CHRISTIANS
There is legislation in the works called the “Employment Non Discrimination Act” (ENDA) that is going to force Christian businesses to hire homosexuals and create a non-offensive work environment for them. The following is quoted from the movie SILENCING THE CHRISTIANS…
I love to hear your Comments after you watch the movies
Watch the movie and sign up to take the survey.
http://www.silencingchristians.com
Gay activists terrorize Boston…Church
http://www.nmatv.com/video/2209/Gay-activists-terrorize-Boston-church
I adore Adam Lambert for the right reasons… he really has an enormous talent, and I look forward to his future cds. If his material is only half as good as his potential, he will be a huge star. But I’m seriously worried about a lot of his fans. They border on the obsessive, consider any humor aimed at their idol as a personal affront, and attack anyone who deigns to get a laugh at his expense. Chill people. There is nothing wrong with laughing at something funny that just happens to be written about an entertainer you admire. Your glambert number will not be revoked, you will not spontaneously combust, and Adam is not going to hear of it and cry into his pillow at night. This article was funny, and from what I have seen of Mr. Lambert and his self-deprecating humor, I bet he would agree.
U & your site are strange. Adams tounge is about the proper placement for projection. It is taught. It also works. Gay seems to be your issue not the nations. we just love him.
NO GAY MARRIAGE
I love how gay activists have tried to name this civil rights issue and it is
Not. It is an attempt by a group to mainstream their lifestyle. Lets get a few facts in order.
1.The first and most important consideration is that God said that it is an abomination for men to lay with men and that those who do so would have blood on their hands and their life would be forfeit. Leviticus 18:22 “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.”
2.The scientists have discovered that Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed exactly in the manner that the Bible said it was. If you look at a satellite photo of Sodom and Gomorrah, you will see that a while dots shows up around these two cities, evidence of the intense amount of ash covering them. Also, perfectly round balls of 98% pure Sulphur (brimstone) are embedded in the remaining structures. First of all, there is nowhere on earth that Sulphur is found in such high concentrations, the most is 40% and that only when there is geo-thermal activity, of which there is none in that area. Also, Sulphur is NEVER found as a round ball. It was compared to every single piece of Sulphur at the Smithsonian Institute and none of them match this kind of Sulphur, either in Shape or color. The evidence is clear that something out of the ordinary happened over there and the few remaining structures show signs of intense heat and melting. In other words, Sodom and Gomorrah was “DESTROYED” and then PRESERVED as a reminder to the people as to what can happened when you live outside the will of God. This lie the gay community is telling is that it was destroyed because of a lack of hospitality is bunk. The words clearly says that ALL the men were homosexual and wanted to have sex with the two angels that God had sent.
3 Back in 1973, gay activists led a hate campaign against the psychiatrists because up until then, doctor with years of clinical experience and who made observations and assessments, classified homosexuality as a deviant, psychosexual disorder. Because of the hate campaign, they were able to intimidate the medical community into deleting the diagnosis. Not based on new clinical observations or new information but base on VIOLENT activism against the psychiatric community.
The fact is, gay marriage is wrong and against the will of God and the people of God need to speak up or they will be teachu=ing it to our children.
I guess when little boys come home and want to have a gay weddings with their little male friends; maybe then parents will see the dangers here,
This is lame. Adam is a beast and will go on to rule the world with his amazing voice and sexy hypnotizing powers. THE END.
God… really? SERIOSULY? You are going to use that as factual evidence?
Wow. . . and I was beginning to have faith in humanity.
i just love you guys… i’ve read a bunch of articles in your page today and i laughed with every single one of them… this is a great way to report on gossip!!!
Seriously leave adam alone he didnt do anything i don’t care what he did on stage he is a really sweet and kind guy. And a great singer so yeah don’t go hating him for any reason hes the best singer ever