ACM Entertainer Award Won By… A Woman? Mercy!
Every year the ACM awards – like the Grammys but more buck-toothed and NASCAR-fixated – end up the same way.
Kenny Chesney wins. Every year – no matter how obviously unentertaining he’s been – Kenny Chesney wins the ACM Entertainer Of The Year award, even though he basically has a hat instead of an actual personality.
But this year the ACM Entertainer Of The Year award went to Carrie Underwood, who is female. Carrie Underwood’s win shocked the country music community, with some members worried that if women can win gender-unspecific ACM awards then next they’ll be allowed to vote or drive or something.
The ACM Entertainer Of The Year award has always been Kenny Chesney’s to lose. For some reason – we’re guessing that it’s because the majority of country singers routinely confuse ‘charisma’ for ‘uncomfortable xenophobia’ or ‘assaulting women in the face‘ – Kenny Chesney managed to walk away with the award for four years on the trot.
And, truth be told, Kenny Chesney would have probably won it this year too, if only he hadn’t been such a monumental turd about it last time around. And even though throwing a tantrum because an award was voted for by fans instead of an anonymous panel of industry insiders was by default the most entertaining thing he’d ever done, it pretty much destroyed any hope of him winning it again this year.
That meant the ACM Entertainer Of The Year award was wide open this year – it could have been won by the recovering alcoholic or the annoying virgin or that fat woman – but in the end it was won by none other than Carrie Underwood. Given that we couldn’t hum a single Carrie Underwood song to you even if you put a gun to our heads, we’re guessing that Carrie Underwood won for the entertaining way that she a) never takes her clothes off, b) never eats delicious meat and c) never reveals any personal secrets about herself whatsoever.
Because, you know, all of these are the epitome of entertainment, right? Right? Hello? Anyway, People reports:
Carrie Underwood became the first woman since 2001 to be named ACM entertainer of the year – and only the seventh female to win the Academy of Country Music’s top honor since it was first handed out in 1970. “I’ve had a lot of good moments in the last four years. This one takes the cake!” said a teary-eyed Underwood. “I don’t know what to say! I got nothing.”
While it’s good to see Carrie Underwood win the ACM Entertainer Of The Year Award – especially since it means that the country music community no longer sees women exclusively as objects to compose identikit trucker ballads with tortuous punny titles about – we are a little worried about the precedent that it sets.
After all, Carrie Underwood is from American Idol. And now that reality TV stars are being allowed to infiltrate the ACM awards, it’s highly probable that Adam Lambert will win the award next year. And then, the year after that, the woman with the funny mouth who got kicked off The Apprentice a couple of weeks ago. And then the next thing you know, someone’s remade The Wild Bunch with Clay Aiken, Renaldo Lapuz, Maureen off Driving School and Piers Morgan. Look us in the eye and tell us that’s something you actually want. Piers Morgan, for crying out loud.
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I don’t know man, you better get used to it. Those American Idols are super talented. I doubt if Kenny Chesney would make it through and Clay Aiken just spent a year on Broadway in the lead role in Spamalot. That’s no small thing. You know the saying. If you can make it on Broadway you can make it anywhere.
I appreciate your animated take on this year’s ACM awards show. I would have to disagree with your assessment that Carrie Underwood’s win is something to cause worry within the industry. You comically note that she “a) never takes her clothes off, b) never eats delicious meat and c) never reveals any personal secrets about herself whatsoever.” You also infer that her American Idol win is something that is alarming in the fact that it was a reality TV show she competed on and because of that platform, her established stardom is making her “infiltrate” the ACM awards. I cannot say I am a fan of country music myself, however, Ms. Underwood has come a long way since her stint on the Fox network show. What once sounded untamed and raw now sounds controlled, effortless, and oftentimes brilliant. As a classical musician, it is a breath of fresh air to see how intense musical training can transform an otherwise decent singer into a strong, graceful, and impressive vocalist. It is unfair to assume that her rise to fame from her past on television is the sole reason for a major win at the ACM awards show. I watched her performances at the event and it is hard to argue that there is anything else but talent that is keeping her on top. Even you yourself reference her lack of interest in confessing personal secrets, something that many young female singers indeed do for publicity. I look forward to seeing her progress even more in the coming years.
I appreciate your animated take on this year’s ACM awards show. I would have to disagree with your assessment that Carrie Underwood’s win is something to cause worry within the industry. You comically note that she “a) never takes her clothes off, b) never eats delicious meat and c) never reveals any personal secrets about herself whatsoever.” You also infer that her American Idol win is something that is alarming in the fact that it was a reality TV show she competed on and because of that platform, her established stardom is making her “infiltrate” the ACM awards. I cannot say I am a fan of country music myself, however, Ms. Underwood has come a long way since her stint on the Fox network show.
What once sounded untamed and raw now sounds controlled, effortless, and oftentimes brilliant. As a classical musician, it is a breath of fresh air to see how intense musical training can transform an otherwise decent singer into a strong, graceful, and impressive vocalist. It is unfair to assume that her rise to fame from her past on television is the sole reason for a major win at the ACM awards show. I watched her performances at the event and it is hard to argue that there is anything else but talent that is keeping her on top. Even you yourself reference her lack of interest in confessing personal secrets, something that many young female singers indeed do for publicity. I look forward to seeing her progress even more in the coming years.