Way back before Harry Styles broke Taylor Swift’s heart, there was another tween heartthrob causing girls to cry into their Ben & Jerrys and write badly composed sad songs with three chord progression.
It was 2001, and that tween was Aaron Carter, the younger, much less talented brother of Backstreet Boys member Nick Carter. The heart he broke belonged to Disney sweetheart, Hilary Duff, who he cheated on with future Queen of Trainwrecks, Lindsay Lohan.
It was like the underage version of the Jen/Brad/Angelina triangle. With much more body glitter and brightly colored stretchy chokers.
At one point in time, Aaron Carter was actually considered attractive. I know, the Meth face throws you off, but that didn’t come around until the mid-2000s. He also was semi famous for his crappy music and even crappier dance moves. During his peak, he started dating Hilary Duff. Now mind you, they were both like 13 at the time, so dating consisted of high-end dining at Ruby Tuesdays and copping a feel over the sweater. They were two blonde, bubble gum soul mates, and dated for more than a year.
But then Aaron did what most teenage boys (and shit, tons of adult men too), and got cocky and greedy. So he decided he was tired of the good girl, and he wanted a taste of the forbidden fruit that was Lindsay Lohan. Now at this time, Lindsay wasn’t even really a bad girl yet. She hadn’t gotten caught stumbling down drunk or choosing coke over real food yet. But I guess for a teenager, she just exuded a naughtiness that squeaky clean Duff could not compete with. So, Aaron cheated on Hilary, pretty publicly, and the whole tween world got turned upside down.
For some reason, Duff forgave Carter, they started dating again, but broke up soon after. Over a decade has now passed, and while Duff, like basically every other grown ass adult in the world who had a JR high school sweetheart, has seriously moved on from that relationship, it seems Carter has not. And now that Duff is getting a divorce from her douchebag husband, Aaron is on a mission to win back the “love of his life” (his words).
It started when Duff first announced her separation from Mike Comrie. After posting some passive whiny shit on Twitter, someone asked Carter is he was talking about Duff. And because it makes total sense to share personal information with strangers, Aaron answered.
Well, that’s not awkward.
But now Carter is making his desire to win Duff back public with tons of Tweets about her. It started with him re-tweeting a picture of Hilary and saying she was ‘flawless.” Then it just got kind of weird and pathetic.
I really thought the love of Carter’s life was found in a piece of tin foil and a pipe, but what do I know?
So far, Hilary hasn’t responded, probably because just like many of you, she had to google “Who is Aaron Carter?” Also, Hilary Duff is a pretty beautiful woman, who managed to not totally fuck up her life when she became an adult. It was bad enough that she married that tool bag Comrie, I would really be disappointed in her life choices if she decided to get back with a guy who looks like a younger version of the Preacher from Poltergeist.