A-Z of Action Movies - The Inevitable and The Alternative. A for Arnie and American Ninja

The Inevitable - A for Arnie

Born on 30th July 1947, Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger spent most of his formative years in Thal, a small, isolated village in Austria. He often dreamt of better things, and reportedly his childhood friends stated that his goals in life were to move to America, become an actor and marry a Kennedy. The boy’s done well.

As the Austrian Oak he won the titles of Junior Mr Europe, Mr World, and was five times Mr Universe and seven times Mr Olympia. He was, undeniably, buffed.

As Arnold Strong he broke into the world of movies with the dire Hercules in New York, but it was in the body building documentary Pumping Iron, that he became more widely noticed. His major breakthrough came when he played the role of Conan the Barbarian, a part which set the tone for the majority of his best characters - light on dialogue and heavy on bashing heads.

There’s not much that remains unsaid or unknown about Mr Arnold
Schwarzenegger.  So, in no particular order here are some random facts
which we hope will surprise you.

- He rejected the lead role in the TV series of the Incredible Hulk, saying he was too pretty for the part.
- James Cameron originally wanted Arnie for the role of Kyle Reese in Terminator.
- He was ranked 20th in the "Top 100 Movie Stars of All Time" listed in Empire Magazine.
- Both Dolph Lundgren and Christopher Reeve were considered for the role of Ben Richards in The Running Man.
- His line "I’ll be back" was voted 37th in the American Film Institutes Top 100.
- His father and brother nicknamed him Cinderella as a child.
- In a move not unprecedented among top movie stars, he starred in a hilarious series of Japanese adverts.
- He has never made a prank call to a pizza place as himself. Presumably.

Since becoming a megastar in The Terminator he has starred in numerous mindlessly entertaining action films (and a fair few ill advised "comedies"), married Maria Shriver and entered the world of Politics as, somewhat inevitably, The Governator.
However, it is as a buffed bad-ass action hero, whose mouth only opens
to deliver cutting one liners, that many of us will remember him most
fondly. So without further ado…

Top 10 Arnie Quotes (Use them on your friends - they’ll never get old).

1 - "It
is as satisfying to me as coming is - you know, as having sex with a
woman and coming. So can you believe how much I am in heaven?"  (talking about working out in Pumping Iron)
2 - "I’ll be back" (almost every film he’s been in but primarily The Terminator)
3 - "I eat Green Berets for breakfast, and right now I’m very hungry" (to Bill Duke, a Green Beret, in Commando).
4 - "Hasta la Vista, Baby" (to the T1000 in Terminator 2).
5 - "Consider that a divorce" (to wife Sharon Stone in Total Recall as he puts a bullet in her head).
6 - "Please don’t disturb my friend. He’s dead tired" (to an air hostess in Commando, after he breaks his guard’s neck then thoughtfully covers him with a blanket and hat).
7 - "Stick around" (to a recently stabbed generic bad guy in Predator).
8 - "I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle" (to a leather-clad biker in Terminator 2)
9 - "Sub Zero, now Plain Zero" (upon dispatching of an enemy in The Running Man)
10 - "Have fun" (handing over the action mantle to The Rock in The Rundown - Welcome the Jungle in the UK - as he walks out of a nightclub)

Top Five Arnie Movies

1 - The Terminator (1984)
2 - Predator (1987)
3 - Commando (1985)
4 - Total Recall (1990)
5 - Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Top Five Arnie Turkeys

1 - Batman and Robin (1997)
2 - Hercules in New York (1970)
3 - Junior (1994)
4 - Collateral Damage (2002)
5 - Eraser (1996)

The Alternative - A for American Ninja

In American Ninja (DVDs), a surly army officer joins a platoon and gets off on the wrong foot
by not making too many friends. Too much surliness.  Those he does make
are killed almost instantly in an ambush by black-clad martial artists.
The surly one survives but now everybody hates him - blaming their
colleagues’ deaths on him. But it’s ok because he has a secret. He’s a
ninja, and an American one at that. 

He becomes cool by beating up the cock of the platoon while wearing a bucket on his head, and pulling out some moves which "he learnt on the street".
He also blocks a few throwing stars with a broom stick, plays around
with knives, rides a motorbike and gets it on with some chick. Great
stuff. Watch it but don’t bother with the 438 sequels it spawned
(except maybe part 2).

The surly one was none other than Michael Dudikoff. A
half-Russian former model who studied Child Psychology and whose only
other role of note was as a drunken lout in bawdy comedy Bachelor Party. He was the obvious choice for the role.

Most recently he starred in Quicksand (2002) as a
psychiatrist, and spends his time speaking Russian, playing tennis,
reading books and being with his daughter. Maybe all at the same time.

Next Tuesday: B for…?  Tune in and find out.

[story by Matt Cook]