You’re clever people, so you’ll have realised that hecklerspray has been experiencing some technical difficulties today. That’s why most of you will have been looking at week old news all day, possibly thinking that Matt Damon has had another baby.

We’re not sure what the problem was – and most of our efforts at fixing it failed. We left a string of desperate drunken messages on The Internet‘s answerphone, but we got no reply. We took The Internet out for a romantic meal to try and persuade it to let hecklerspray work again, but that attempt died after we got a bit too drunk and tried to cop a feel of The Internet’s bra while we were at the taxi rank.

Now, though, things are working again. At some point The Internet might bust into the office and start accusing us of sending saucy text messages to other Internets, and send hecklerspray all wonky again as a kind of punishment. But fingers crossed…