Those who follow reality television with a keen eye will be all too aware of Diana Vickers ? once of X Factor, now about to storm the pop charts with a song called Once.
If you're new to her, here?s the deal: she has the speaking voice of a girl from Lancashire begging her parents for fish and chips, as her mother silently scrubs the front step wearing a long flowery dress, and her father stares angrily at a betting slip. And yet, when she sings she absolutely comes alive, like a malfunctioning synthesiser with a mind of its own.
She also happens to be bucking a reality television trend, which demands that you do your stint, then disappear entirely, like Girlband, or Lisa from Big Brother ? remember them? Of course you don't!
With that in mind, below are five other reality contestants who haven't so much come back from the dead, as just surprised us a little bit for one reason or another? (not including Makosi from Big Brother who became a prostitute)?
Shell Jubin (Big Brother)
Brainiac Shell was a delicate flower, with a gentle voice, a soft face, and a posh university education. We all thought she might end up on Blue Peter. But no. Within thirty seconds of leaving the house she'd ripped off her clothes for a horny lad?s mag, and on at least one occasion she pretended to be a lipstick lesbian. Who on earth saw that one coming?
JLS (X Factor)
When the winner is announced, and the ceiling ejaculates a splurge of glitter, you assume that whoever hasn't just won X Factor will return to work on Monday, or slowly amble into a field in remotest Cornwall to silently commit suicide. It's over. The dream. It's over. Wrong! In the case of JLS, they actually managed to perform the career equivalent of taking a frown and turning it upside down, by not only storming the music charts, but by leaving the actual winner, Alexandra something, in their wake. Now considered to be the closest thing to The Beatles since A1.
Emily Nakanda (X Factor)
It was actually impossible not to be moved to tears by young Emily?s touching story about almost dying, then coming back to life with a renewed ambition to be a singer. Then, rather out of the blue, videos starting popping up all over the place of this very same singing flower dragging hysterical school children around by the hair, and threatening to stab people in the face. The feelings of confusion and betrayal were up there with being told that your mum is actually your dad.
Jennifer Clark (Big Brother)
If you close your eyes and think really really hard, you might remember Jennifer. To jog your memory, she was the girl who went berserk in the Big Brother house, because the upper class chef, Rex ? whose voice, by the way, was so posh that it morphed into one long slurring noise, like a car just sitting there with the motor running. Anyway, where were we? Yes, that's right, she freaked out because he dabbed some ketchup on her rubbish painting. Nothing massively shocking about that, no. But what was shocking is that she spent roughly 92 per cent of her time in the house berating the kind of slutty girls who take their clothes off for magazines, before being evicted and immediately showing everyone her breasts. Mixed messages there, Jennifer.
Alison Hammond (Big Brother)
The general rule with Big Brother is quite simple ? to ensure a few seconds with the warm beam of limelight on your face, you must at least finish in the top few. And yet, Alison, third out ? and famous for being so heavy that she destroyed a table just by standing on it ? has fashioned something of a television career from her appalling show on Big Brother. In that she now crops up on This Morning from time to time. Good for her.
This was a guest blog by Josh Burt from Interestment. Not Interestment Comedy. Interestment. It’s back.
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