A Fist Full of Ass as Ang Lee considers gay cowboy conundrum

Ang Lee, drippy arthouse director turned Hollywood pincushion has announced his intention to make a gay cowboy movie…

Not content with turning the Hulk into a laughing stock at The Great (not gay) Superhero Tavern, Lee now wants to take down an entire genre with one swish crack of the whip.

A tale of young cowboys in love, Brokeback Mountain has excited every major actor in Hollywood eager to court the pink dollar.

Those in line for the leads include
I’m-still-carving-out-a-career-from-the-most-overated-movie-of-all-time Jake ‘Darko’ Gyllenhaal and blonde ‘no brain in here, mate’ himbo Heath Ledger.  Johnny Depp is also awaiting the call. Though insiders are describing him as "too obvious".

Hollywood’s flirtation with gay love has been nothing short of disastrous. 54 turned out not to be the disco-homo love fest everyone was expecting. And as for Ron Howard’s decision to make homosexual mathematician John Nash as ’straight as a die’ in A Beautiful Mind, well let’s just say LA’s plastic population are not too keen on alienating sensitive hetros.

Sounds of disdain from bales of hay everywhere has become readily apparent.  "Let’s be realistic" one flowery student executive observed, "we’re talking about gay cowboys!".

hecklerspray says leave the cowboys alone. None of us want to think Clint Eastwood’s man-with-no-name might have been ‘bi-curious’. A western for homosexuals is fine, but shouldn’t they make it a musical?