From 1987 – 1992 all dignified people in the world everywhere waged war on that Rudolph the reindeer claymation Christmas abomination. Reason being in June of '87 historians discovered that everyone who watched it instantly became a clay-craving pervert. For a good four years that included us.

And that Miracle on 2nd South or whatever that other holiday movie was called – that one openly mocks mall Santas everywhere even though they're just working stiffs trying to pay the bills. And maybe touch kids. Just you leave the non-paedophile mall Santas alone, Hollywood films! Our list of dismal Christmas movies goes on too – farther than that blue internet-bar on the right has ever scrolled down. But we don't have to get into that today.

In recent months a coalition of Israeli Scientists has thoroughly proven time and time again that only one Christmas movie has ever been merrily stupendous – Robert Clark's A Christmas Story. Sadly, this article isn't about Clark's mighty film, but about his tragic death. The director was killed with his son yesterday when an 'alleged' drunk driver smashed him head on.

Robert Clark, director of films such as Turk 182!, Baby Geniuses and Murder By Decree, died tragically Wednesday. He's much more famous for his 1983 classic A Christmas Story, which is still popular enough today to merit a 24-hour marathon every year on TBS. On their website the cable channel said of it's annual tradition:

“For 10 years, 24 Hours of A CHRISTMAS STORY has been a holiday staple for television sets around the country,” said Ken Schwab, senior vice president of programming for TBS and TNT.  “We are delighted that this unique marathon has warmed the hearts of viewers everywhere and become such a holiday tradition for so many families.  It’s tradition we hope to keep around for many years to come.”

A Christmas Story is a true milestone in holiday movies, barely edging out the 27 Christmas films Tim Allen keeps making every single year. Clark and his son, Ariel Hanrath-Clark, 22, were killed at 2:30 AM on a Los Angeles highway when a presumably drunk driver drove into oncoming traffic. The two vehicles crashed head on. The other driving crash participant was Hector Velazquez-Nava, 24. A police statement reads:

"The initial investigation has concluded that Nava was driving without a license northbound in the southbound lanes while under the influence of an alcoholic beverage."

It was a tragic end to a very funny man – but hecklerspray's not ready to let Clark go just yet. We've got a powerful mass movement in mind. At precisely 11:00 AM California time, it's essential that everyone go outside and stick your licker to a cold pole, saluting all the while. Hold until fire department arrival.

Goodbye Bob, and Godspeed.

Read More:

Director Clark, Son Killed In L.A. crash – Reuters