911 Call: Vanilla Ice Wants To Take His Own Life Life Baby

Remember a few weeks ago when we told you that early-nineties hasbeen rapper Vanilla Ice was arrested for hitting his wife?

Well, we forgot to tell you one very important thing - the 911 call that his wife made was mental.

Seriously. And we’re only using the word mental here because no words exist that can accurately describe how flat-out weird the call is. From what we can work out, Vanilla Ice hit his wife because she bought a bed for herself and then, Vanilla Ice starts threatening to kill himself with a motorbike. But, hey, you can hear that for yourself after the jump.

Domestic violence isn’t funny. Well, look, actually it sort of is a bit funny, but only so long as it’s done by men who used to be famous but aren’t any more and just happen to be hopelessly ineffectual at domestic violence.

Perhaps we need to explain this more. A man hitting a woman in the face isn’t funny, but Dennis Rodman squeezing his girlfriend’s arm because he’s drunk and his wife won’t let him see his children is funny. Similarly, all other violent attack on women by men aren’t funny, unless they happen to be conducted by Vanilla Ice and - immediately after the attack occurs - Vanilla Ice’s wife phones 911 and uses the call to complain about how Vanilla Ice never gives her any of his money while Vanilla Ice whines in the background about how he’s going to kill himself.

That is funny. We know this because it happened.

Last month Vanilla Ice was arrested for violently assaulting his wife. As much of a shock as it must have been for Vanilla Ice’s wife, who must have thought “I really preferred you when your wore outlandishly-sized trousers and sung about teenage animatronic tortoises” during the attack, she later dropped the charges against him and all was forgotten.

Until TMZ managed to get hold of the Vanilla Ice domestic battery 911 call, that it. Honestly, it’s just perfect in its descent into utter stupidity. We’ll give you the link to the tape in a second, but first, here are the key moments you’d do well to listen out for:

“He kicked me, he tried to choke me in front of my kid.”

“Is he black or Hispanic?’

“Awww, now he’s threatening to kill himself.”

“He’s mad because he buys everything in the house. He buys all the shoes.”

“I have no bed.”

OK, enough teasing. Enjoy.

Listen to the Vanilla Ice Domestic abuse 911 call now