When you talk, do people listen? Have you ever conducted a simultaneous wedding for over 500 couples gathered together in some sort of sporting arena? Would you feel completely comfortable in a room with Martin Luther, Henry VIII, Mohammed and Joseph Smith?
If you answered yes all the way down – you're too late. Sorry about that. If you'd been a little quicker you could have got $5000 to start your own religion, and been temporarily famous documentary style. Yeah, you really missed out. One guy didn't though. One guy gets to start his own religion, and may soon have a community of poor people asking him for food on Sundays.
Now if you're anything like us, you'll want in on ground level – it's supposed to have more tax breaks, doncha know.
It's been said that an average of around 45 new religions start in the US every year. Some become big, most stay small, and some graciously hand you a plastic cup full of Kool-Aid as you pass through the first-meeting threshold – yeah, watch out for those ones.
The new start-up religion plan is that of independent filmmaker Andy Deemer, who along with making films independently, often makes movies without the financial support of any major studios. Of his latest social experiment, Deemer said:
“Ultimately, I want the project to be interfaith and supporting different faiths.”
The process proved to be difficult, as finding a person other's would be willing to kowtow to proved taxing. Deemer splurbed on a bit about the process:
“How do you interview for a messiah? It’s a really difficult question that we’re struggling with. We have to go out and find a guru, but what kind of questions do you ask? Have you ever been arrested for preaching? Have you ever conducted any miracles? Have you ever raised anyone from the dead? Do we go that route? Or do we just say, ‘Tell us about your religion.’ ”
Well, whatever questions they asked, the process worked because they got their man. The subject of the whole thing is out as we speak, preaching messages like: “This life is the one that counts; this IS your eternal reward.”, “We are God.” and "Pray to me by farting to the east." He never said that last one, religious leaders in general stray from the word 'fart' in any of it's conjugated forms - including this new guy. We won't tell you his name though, because as much as we'd really like to introduce you to your new millennial lord and master, you'll probably be more appreciative if you get out there and find him yourself. Here's a hint – he might be the guy in your train station wearing that garbage bag inside-out. Ignore that weird banana stink at first – you'll adjust.
Now if you'll excuse us, our office-mate just found the Virgin Mary in a popsicle stick, and we want to see what happens when we touch it to our dead dog.
Read more:
We'll Pay You $5000 To Start A Religion – Rawstory
[story by Shawn Lindseth]
