There are a number of things you could ask Curtis ’50 Cent’ Jackson for advice on.

How to endlessly babble on about that time you got shot, for instance. Or how to sell yourself to as many branding opportunities as possible, to the extent where every slightly dim teenager in the world is decked out in a pair of Fiddy-approved trainers and sipping on a can of Official ‘Keeping It Real’ Misogyny-Flavour Pepsi.

You wouldn’t, however, go asking him any questions about the production of music. Unless, that is, you wanted your new album to sound like his: roughly the same as a slowed-down Geoff Boycott mumbling about bitches over a Casio keyboard ‘polka’ setting.

It seems like no-one told Lindsay Lohan this.