50 Cent is far too gangsta to listen to critics. Critics say that he's a terrible rapper, 50 Cent makes another shonky album out of spite. Critics say he's a lousy actor, 50 Cent signs up for another godawful movie.
As if subjecting innocent moviegoers to cock like Get Rich Or Die Tryin' wasn't enough, 50 Cent has just attached his name to Live Bet, a brand new heist film about gambling – possibly the only movie subject in the world less appealing than the plot of Get Rich Or Die Tryin'. Nice move, Fiddy…
Rappers really shouldn't make films. LL Cool J, Ice Cube, Snoop Dogg… all have made some real cinematic stinkers. But worst offender of them all is obesity-hating trainer salesman 50 Cent, who decided to make a film all about his life so dull that the most exciting thing about it were the violent billboard photos. Things got so bad that the director was forced to drum up ticket sales by saying tripe like:
"To me, 50 Cent is a black gangsta Jesus with the wounds to prove it."
Get Rich Or Die Tryin' was dreadful, proving that 50 Cent can't even play himself in a movie, let alone anyone else. But he wants another crack at movie-making – 50 Cent has signed up to star in Live Bet, a heist thriller by brothers Charley and Vlas Parlapanides, which has been picked up by Universal Pictures.
Live Bet is a gritty-sounding flick based around real-life underground clubs which bet on illegal car racing, and it sounds duller than a weekend sand-sifting course. But if Live Bet sounds like a turn-off to you, there's plenty more 50 Cent goodness coming your way, like The Dance – the long-awaited (by idiots) 50 Cent/Nicolas Cage movie, or the pointless 50 Cent literature line, or – if you're really desperate – the forthcoming duet between 50 Cent and Michael Jackson.
To be honest, none of these options sound as if they'll turn around 50 Cent's movie luck. He needs a hit, and there's just one thing for it. Fiddy, we can get our script for the live-action movie remake of the 1991 MC Hammer cartoon series Hammerman to you in a matter of hours. You'd be perfect for it. Just say the word, Fiddy, just say the word.
Read more:
50 Cent Lines Up Starring Role In Live Bet – Billboard
[story by Stuart Heritage]
len says
Who ever is writing this article is such a hater nothing you write or say about 50Cent, he’s heard it all before growing up all the way into adult hood. So just like the rest of the haters in the world, he just shakes you off and keep on trucking. Stop hating on a black man when he’s trying hard not to return to selling his poison back into the black neighborhoods. And really I don’t think Fif gives a damn about what anybody says, so through me he thanks you for the free promotion.
Mik says
Ha ha, classic work. I’m really looking forward to the Michael Jackson duet, it should be hilarious. Well done too to the ‘Fif’ apologist above, too. I particularly like the old ‘don’t knock the black ex drug dealer who’s trying to get out of the ghetto by writing songs and movies about how cool it is to be a drug dealer’ chestnut. Great work.