3:10 To Yuma Tops Half-Hearted Weekend Box Office

Want a sign that summer is over? OK, how's this - the top weekend box office movie is a low-key remake of an old western that's taken five times less than the top weekend box office movie of a month ago.

3:10 To Yuma, starring Christian Bale and Russell Crowe, is being hailed as the start of a great western revival. And why shouldn't it be, aside from the fact that three generations of people now see westerns exclusively as the movies that their dads fell asleep through every single Sunday afternoon of their childhood. But maybe 3:10 To Yuma will change all that; not only has 3:10 To Yuma topped the US weekend box office but it's also it's jam-packed with audience-delighting edge-of-your-seat moments like Christian Bale staring off into the middle distance and, well, we're sure that 3:10 To Yuma has got some other stuff in it, but just not according to its trailer.

3:10 To Yuma is the number one movie at the weekend box office this week, despite the fact that it only took grossed an amount that would have gained it a third-place spot in the heat of the summer box office frenzy a month ago. But while 3:10 To Yuma managed to make an impression on its opening weekend box office, let's spare a thought for the other new films that couldn't make such a splashy opening this weekend, like the movie where Clive Owen cuts an umbilical cord by shooting it with a gun, the documentary about Buzz Aldrin, the movie containing the line “I'd like to blanket your ovarian walls with sperm” and the movie containing a scene of Sarah Silverman in her bra. In her bra! And it's not even in the weekend box office top five! You people are idiots. Here's the US weekend box office top five, idiots…

1 - 3:10 To Yuma (Fans Of 3:10 To Yuma should look forward to Russell Crowe starring in next year's unofficial British-set sequel, 17:38 To Eastbourne Calling At Rye, Winchelsea And Pevensey Bay; Please Be Aware That Toilets On This Train Are Unavailable Due To Flooding) $14,100,000

2 - Halloween (We'd like to point out that this version of Halloween isn't the newest reimagining of Halloween. That plaudit now goes to the reimagining of Halloween that we dreamt on Saturday night where Michael Myers killed us because we spent too long picking a pair of jeans to wear when we should have been running for our lives. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Rob Zombie) $10,034,000

3 - Superbad (America there, yet to realise that the longer Superbad stays in the weekend box office top five, the more they'll be infuriated by people shouting "McLovin!" at each other come Christmas) $8,000,000

4 - Balls Of Fury (Ping pong, then. Not as funny as you'd have probably thought) $5,693,000

5 - The Bourne Ultimatum (A movie that has now grossed $286 million worldwide, making it the most successful film ever to feature a pivotal scene in a location where hecklerspray once slept rough) $5,478,000

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Weekend Box Office - Box Office Mojo