30 Days of Night Mildly Frightens Weekend Box Office

Hey kids, it's Halloween soon! That means that, unless you live in a gated community guarded by dogs trained to attack children in 30p Asda witch hats, you're going to get trick or treated by a bunch of filthy children soon.

And, more importantly than that, it means that all sorts of hokey horror films are going to be clogging up the weekend box office for a while. Hokey horror films like 30 Days Of Night, this week's US weekend box office number one. As if you didn't know, 30 Days Of Night is the movie that asks the question 'just how crap would it be to live in the Arctic circle if it was full of vampires?' and then inexplicably answers it with something other than 'Come on, it's always too cold to go outside, you only get to eat salted fish all the time and there aren't any decent theme parks. Vampires would just mercifully put an end to my time in this godforsaken cockpile, if anything. I hate the stupid Arctic' 

30 Days Of Night - this week's top movie at the weekend box office - is a movie that imagines what would happen if vampires suddenly decided to move to Alaska where daylight is at a minimum. It's an interesting premise, which is why it should come as no surprise that 30 Days Of Night is based on a series of graphic novels, the source of most of Hollywood's interesting movie ideas of late. But what isn't known is that 30 Days Of Night actually marks the point where Hollywood's graphic novel adaptation well runs dry, as next month's adaptation of a 1983 issue of Whizzer And Chips proves. Here's this week's US weekend box office top five in full…

1 - 30 Days Of Night (These terrified Alaskans have got it all wrong - 30 days of night actually means 30 days without daytime, at that means 30 days of no Jeremy Kyle. Those pesky vampires are small fry compared to joyous news like that) $16,000,000

2 - Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married (Total box office takings so far: $38,865,000. Number of people who have actually gone to a cinema and referred to Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married by its full title: 0. Years before Tyler Perry learns to drop his hugely egotistical trait of using his own name in the title of his own movies despite this: probably a billion or something) $12,100,000

3 - The Game Plan (Beating the just-released Rendition by a full $4 million, which means that people still prefer month old knockabout comedies to serious politically-minded films featuring scenes of Reese Witherspoon screeching like a banshee trying to turn off a car alarm with a dentist's drill. As they should) $8,122,000

4 - Michael Clayton (We can't wait until Michael Clayton drops out of the weekend box office top five. Because we liked it and it's difficult to be pithy about. And surely that should mean more than things like 'critical acclaim' and 'financial rewards') $7,100,000

5 - Gone Baby Gone (Never to be seen in the UK because of similarities to the Madeline McCann case, something that director Ben Affleck hopes to avoid with his next film - all about a rugby team that isn't very good) $6,000,000

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Weekend Box Office - Box Office Mojo