2012 London Olympics Try To Kill Epileptic Viewers

Apparently murder is gonna be a viable category at the London-held 2012 Olympics. 'bout time, we say.

Swimming is boring and watching people run is only fun if it's away from you and your bodybuilder girlfriend. That's precisely why London has decided to push for this new killing category. It's a financially wise decision too, because if the winner is decided by cage match you'd probably only have to buy one winners platform. Say, London, that's monetarily sound!

Now if honesty is the policy of the day again (lame), we're obligated to tell you that the Olympic killing currently being talked about isn't a category of sport. Rather, it seems like people are worried about the new Olympic adverts killing the likes of you and us via synchronised epileptic seizures.

Did you see the 'us' in that last sentence? Suddenly it's warm in here.

There are big fears that the recently released 2012 Olympic advert may cause epileptic seizures and death in all who watch it. This is no doubt a stab at population control by the New World Order, who'd like nothing more than to herd the post-Olympic survivors into a large box and rule over them with a sceptre made from David Icke and Alex Jones' broken leg bones.

We've got proof of that. It's called the Mayan calendar and it's in our car. We also have proof of the seizure-fears currently flowing through London - it's in the form of a BBC News quote:

"A segment of animated footage promoting the 2012 Olympics has been removed from the organisers' website after fears it could trigger epileptic seizures. Prof Graham Harding, who developed the test used to measure photo-sensitivity levels in TV material, said it should not be broadcast again."

And on top of the seizure fears - the accompanying logo has also been accused of being ugly. So many agree with the statement just-read that a petition - 43,400 signatures strong in a recent tally -  is flapping around the internet like a hummingbird near a honey-filled hot tub. London's Mayor Ken Livingstone is mad, and he's not paying:

"I wouldn't pay them a penny. Who would go to a firm like that again to ask them to do that work? I mean, this is a pretty basic thing."

Would you like to see the video? Well tough. Last time we posted something like that three of you bit your tongues. We'll not post it because we love you.

We love all of you.

Finally saying it feels good. Why won't you look at us?

Read More:

Olympic Promotional Footage Provokes Epileptic Fits - The Register