Happy Halloween everyone! Around this time of year you’ll see a lot of Halloween lists that are about things that are actually supposed to be scary (goriest movie scene, best horror movies, scariest costumes, etc.), but not many people focus on the things that are unintentionally scary. Over the past decade a lot of celebrities have fallen into this category of the unintentionally scary.
So, for your Halloween pleasure, I have compiled a list of ten celebrities that give me the creeps for all the wrong reasons. Enjoy!
10. Kanye West
Why Kanye is Terrifying: Kanye West is one of the most intense celebrities possibly ever. He is potentially the most self-loving person in entertainment, which is saying a lot as many celebs are pretty far up their own asses, and he constantly goes on insane rants and tirades that make zero sense. These days he’s been claiming to be a God (he literally has a song called “I am God”) and even Jesus makes an appearance on his Yeezus tour. And have you seen the sets for the Yeezus tour? I don’t think I could even go to that concert, it would remind me too much of when I was four and my mom got front row seats for us to go see “Cats” and the set was so terrifying for me that mom asked two people in row 14 if they would switch with us (which they obviously did) because I was too scared to sit by the stage. Nightmares forever!
9. Tori Spelling
Why Tori is terrifying: Tori Spelling is pathetic and tragic and would probably cut you or lie and say you cut her just to get an UsWeekly cover. She’s the type of person who calls photographers and let’s them know she’s taking her kids to the pumpkin patch, then flips out when they show up. “Don’t take pictures of my kids!” “Bitch, you called US.”
8. Gary Busey
Why Gary is terrifying: See above photo. No, but seriously, Gary Busey is really intense, and have you see him on Celebrity Rehab? He has no mental filters, so he just says and does whatever he wants, and when someone with a face like that says and does whatever they want, it can get truly terrifying.
7. Chris Brown
Why Chris is terrifying: Chris Brown will beat the shit out of you, whether you are male or female. Aside from Rihanna and Frank Ocean, Brown is always in the news for some sort of assault charge or tirade or breaking probation or SOMETHING. He keeps saying he’s a changed man, but fists don’t lie.
6. Kris Jenner
Why Kris is terrifying: I get a real creepy mom from “The Manchurian Candidate” vibe from Kris Jenner. I think she might actually be one of Satan’s right hand women. She’s obsessed with fame and whores out her kids (and grandkids) for it, and I’ve never seen the woman act even remotely genuine. She might be a sociopath. Either way, I find her super creepy.
5. Miley Cyrus
Why Miley is terrifying: Miley Cyrus was Hannah Montana just a few short years ago. Millions of little girls around the world looked up to her, and still do, which means she’s potentially building a child army of little girls who twerk, stick their tongues out way too much, dance with molly, and flash all their junk when the opportunity arises. Need I say more?
4. Mel Gibson
Why Mel is terrifying: Mel Gibson used to be one of the biggest stars in Hollywood. He was super successful and a mega babe. Now what is he known for: being a scary racist/anti-Semite, who built his own church in his backyard and made a really weird/gory movie about Jesus. Hashtag creepy.
3. Lady Gaga
Why Lady Gaga is terrifying: Gaga has always been weird, that is a given, but only recently has she become creepy. I’ve always thought that Gaga was a beautiful girl (see above photo), and even though she did and said and wore weird stuff, she was sexy weird. However, this year she has become full on escaped mental patient weird. Just last week she wore a dress made of old skin! That is some Silence of the Lambs type shit right there.
She also showed up at another event last week with her barefeet covered in baby powder, wearing a type of hospital gown looking thing, all pale faced and wide eyed. She looked like Mr. Burns in that episode of The Simpsons when everyone thought he was an alien. I genuinely think she might be having some kind of breakdown, so maybe someone should call a doctor or something. Either way, she gives me the creeps.
2. Tom Cruise
Why Tom is terrifying: Tom Cruise is kind of in the same vein as Mel Gibson, he used to be a hunky Hollywood power player, but now, due to his religion, he’s considered a bit crazy. I’m not sure if it’s really Tom Cruise that terrifies me, or if it’s Scientology, and he’s just the poster boy. Over the years we’ve heard a lot of spooky stuff about Scientology that makes it seem like a cult for the rich.
Even former members who have broken away from the religion, such as Leah Remini, openly talk about people going missing and it being covered up, brainwashing, and so on. When I was in high school I told people I was a Scientologist. One day, my friend, Scott, asked me if I knew what Scientology was, and I shrugged and said “I assume it’s a belief in science.” He then explained to me what the religion was really about, and I quickly removed it from my ICQ interests. Tom Cruise represents Scientology and Scientology creeps me out.
1. Taylor Swift
Why Taylor is terrifying: I know I’m going to get hell for this, but stay with me for a minute. Taylor Swift scares me for two different reasons:
1) All she does is talk about boys, sing about boys, and cry about boys and in some of her songs she implies that girly girls who wear high heels and mini skirts aren’t as valuable as the girls who wear t-shirts and sneakers. What kind of role model is she for the slew of young girls who look up to her?! It terrifies me that young girls listen to her lyrics and look at her behaviors and think “That’s how I want to be!” I love a good Taylor Swift tune, but she’s kind of a preachy, judgey, uppity, boy crazy bitch.
2) Is it just me, or does anyone else get a real Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction vibe from Taylor Swift? In that song she sings with Ed Sherhahajnba or however the fuck you spell it, she sings about a guy holding a door for her and now they’re going to be together forever. BITCH IS CRAZY! Why do you think guys keep breaking up with her? I imagine after their second date she invites them over and shows them her dream journal where she’s planned their wedding and named their kids. I just can’t with Taylor Swift. She’s too much.