10 Things We’ve Learnt From… Superman

As promised last week, here is a list of our top 10 observations we’ve extensively collated and researched from that classic superhero film, Superman (DVDs). You know the one, it’s the one where he loses his powers… no, that’s Spider-Man. No, hang on - bugger it. Which one’s the one with Gene Hackman…?

1. Wherever a superhero decides to set up residence, crime immediately rises three billion percent.

2. It is also highly likely that this same city is home to, naturally, the world’s most evil mind. Travel is always minimal.

3. In cases like this, it is probably best to move somewhere of little interest. Like Bognor Regis.

4. Never comment that they wear their underwear on the outside. It is never a good idea to embarrass a superhero.

5. It is possible to become a completely different person by putting on
a pair of glasses, regardless of whether or not you’re still wearing a
superhero costume.

6. Women are, in fact, incredibly useless and just serve as a means for
our hero to perform a pointless rescue at the expense of nearly
everyone else and the budget.

7. Money plays just as important a role as Marlon Brando.

8. Telephone boxes are more exciting than it would first seem.

9. Even though he claims to be a Man of Steel, a magnet will not subdue him.

10. A person can fly. No, really, they can. Really. Watch…

Just before we are rushed to intensive care for attempting to demonstrate the last one, next week’s 10: The Godfather. No particular reason why, other than it is a good film.

[story by James Hickey]