10 Things We Can Learn From… Jaws

Ah, Jaws. The first summer blockbuster, don’t you know. What a year that was. Star Wars was still but two years away, and disco still had to wait for Saturday Night Fever to come along to strut its funky stuff. And a bunch of other stuff probably happened too.

But what did we learn that year from Jaws (DVDs), the biggest grossing hit of the time? Do not panic, for we have the answers right here. Read on…

1 - It is possible to make a film that is actually better than the book on which it is based. Much like The Godfather, in that respect, only with less Italian stereotypes.

2 - Sharks are ruthless, mindless killing machines that are made of rubber.

3 - Tried and tested methods of killing sharks are obviously outdated - employ sinking boats, compressed air canisters and Roy Scheider for best results.

4 - The best way to watch for sharks is to listen for the music cue.

5 - Sea captains are always crazy sea dogs with inexplicably bad teeth. But they smell nice and have nice singing voices.

6 - Robert Shaw cannot do accents.

7 - The mayor is always more concerned about money than human life. But if he was such a shrewd businessman, he would have paid people to see the shark.

8 - As much as one would like to believe otherwise, Hooper’s character didn’t do a thing. Well, he did have a nice beard…

9 - Sequels were not necessary, even if the second one did have a rather catchy tagline.

10 - They should have got a bigger boat.

Once upon a time, there were three bears. They were all shot by hunters. The end.

[story by James Hickey]