After a brief hiatus (read: struggling to come up with ideas), the world’s greatest list is back and just as pointless as it could ever be.

So sit back, grab a beer, drink it and throw it at the screen in disgust as we present to you a comprehensive list of lessons to be learnt from the ultimate archaeologist. Oh, and Indiana Jones (DVDs), too…

1. Nazis are faceless, evil men with dodgy accents. Do not confuse with Oompah Loompahs.

2. You don’t need fantastic action and acting for a famous scene, just a cold and a gun.

3. Sean Connery just cannot do accents. Seriously, he could have at least tried.

4. Jones does sound an awful lot like James…

5. Cheesy B-movies can be a lot more fun than today’s poor action wannabees. But seriously, a big boulder?

6. Asps are ‘very dangerous’.

7.
You’d be surprised what you can get away with in a kiddies movie:
melting faces? Exploding heads? Why not just rip someone’s heart out
and burn them alive? Oh, hang on…

8. Religion can be fun. That’s it. No other point to be made here.

9. Never leave your hat behind. Unless you want to end on a gag.

10.
It is never advisable to name your son after the dog. Trust us: we know
a guy called Fluffy. It’s a pity their last name is Mutt…

Let’s hope that the fourth Indiana Jones movie will not tarnish the good doctor’s
reputation, and not become a blatant CG fest that so divided Star Wars
fans. Roll on… whatever year it comes out. Yay!

[story by James Hickey]