My favourite day of the whole year is just nine days away so you can go ahead and expect non-stop Halloween related posts between now the 31st! Today I’d like to talk about my favourite group of ladies: witches.
For years, witches were portrayed as evil old hags out to spoil your crops and steal your kids or some shit. This is bullshit and historically inaccurate af. Today, I’d like to focus on some of the hot babe witches that pop culture has blessed us with. Yes, the title says 10, but you know me, I count groups as 1, so it’s more like 20ish.
The Craft
One of my all-time favourite movies (I even had a The Craft themed stagette when I got married AND discussed this film in a chapter in my Masters thesis). Aside from being total babes, Bonnie, Nancy, Sarah and Rochelle are also my fashion icons and no one, I mean NO ONE, was happier than me when 90s witch fashion came back in style because this has been my jam for 20 damn years.
Inferno
I am a huge Dario Argento fan and I fucking LOVE what he does with witches! The character of Mater Lacrimarum in Inferno is perhaps his sexiest witch, in my opinion. Plus, this movie fucking rules. This movie serves as a thematic sequel to Suspiria, which is also a badass witch movie and is my favourite Argento film. If you’re looking for a good, gory time leading up to Halloween, I suggest sitting down with the whole Three Mothers trilogy which was concluded in 2007 with The Mother of Tears.
Charmed
A group of hot sisters discover they’re witches. Sexy witches! I was never a HUGE fan of this show, but Rose McGowan and Shannen Doherty are like queens to me so maybe I’ll give it another shot.
AHS: Coven
Coven is my favourite season of American Horror Story and featured some insanely sexy witches both young and old! Let’s be real, Sarah Paulson and Emma Roberts are def hot, but there is no denying how sexy Jessica Lange and Angela Bassett are in this series, too!
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy, Faith and Cordelia always got the cred for being sexy, but, you know what? Willow was a major babe, too! Plus, a super powerful witch. By the end she was the most powerful person on the show and there is no denying she’s a forever cutie.
The Witches of Eastwick
I love this movie and these three are BEYOND sexy. Like above and beyond. Jack Nicholson knew how to pick ’em, hey? Sidenote: This is also one of my dream Halloween costumes. Maybe next year!
Practical Magic
Back before Sandra Bullock annoyed the fuck out of me and Nicole Kidman completely ruined her face with botox, these two were making some enjoyable movies, including this one where they play sisters who are, of course, witches. I always felt like Practical Magic didn’t get enough love because it was overshadowed by bigger and better 90s witch movies, but it’s actually a pretty good movie and Nicole and Sandra are both babes in it.
Teen Witch
For those of you who think Blake Lively is a hot babe, check out her older sister Robyn Lively as the iconic Teen Witch back in the 80s. This was one of those classic 80s nerd to chic movies, except this time the nerd becomes chic via magical powers that kick in when she turns 16. I legit haven’t seen this movie since like 1997, so I can’t even tell you if it’s good or not, but Robyn Lively is a definite babe.
The Wicker Man
Please do not get it twisted: when I talk about the film The Wicker Man, I am NOT referring to that horrible remake starring Nicholas Cage. Ew. No, I am referring to the original which featured super hot babe Britt Ekland as a super hot witch named Willow, because Willow is apparently a really good name for witches! If you’ve only seen the remake of this film, I beg of you to go watch the original because it is an entirely different experience.
Dark Shadows
I’m actually not a fan of this movie and I think it’s just one of those examples of the downfall of Tim Burton, but there is no denying that Eva Green’s witch, Angelique Bouchard, is a major hottie and is one of the few redeeming factors of this film.