hecklerspray is 1/4 gypsy. Our grandmother on our maternal side was never seen without a colourful pirate-like neckerchief on her scalp and a solitary giant hoop earring hanging down one side of her head or the other.
The reason we bring this up is because we’ve obviously inherited some of her gypsy powers – more specifically, asking strangers for bites of their sandwich and fortune telling. There are a couple predictions we’ve made that haven’t happened yet, like: Katie Holmes will push for a Dawson’s Creek reunion once her and Cruise split, and Bin Laden‘s going to surprise everyone in 2013 by declaring himself the very personification of Hare Krishna, whatever that means.
One of our prediction, though, has already come true. Eminem is filing for divorce from his ex-ex-wife Kim, making her his soon to be ex-ex-ex wife. Eminem and Kim were married for three months. Love is so confusing.
Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, remarried his ex wife Kim three
months ago. Eminem and Kim had a very short go at it this time, as he’s already
filed for their second divorce. Many fans are said to be excited, as
this means Eminem will now be able to perform the half of his catalogue in which
he lyrically frustrates, maims and kills her repeatedly. We,
personally, can’t wait to hear the one where Eminem slits Kim’s throat and
sinks her in Lake Michigan.
Kim and Eminem have a long sordid history. They were high school
sweethearts who first married in 1999. Eminem and Kim have a child together,
they’re also jointly raising another of Kim’s kids, and her niece. The
first marriage between Kim and Eminem lasted until 2001.
On January 14th of this year, Eminem and Kim re-sealed the deal, to the dismay
of thousands. Three short months later – on April 5th – they called it
off again. No specifics have yet been given as to why the divorce proceedings are taking place.
hecklerspray would like to take the time to let Eminem and Kim
know that love is worth fighting for. If that fighting happens to be with
blunt swords and rapid fire weapons while you’re both hiding behind
opposing sand bags and crudely lobbing grenades in various directions,
it would be stupendous.
Seriously, we’ll see if we can dig you up Pay Per View’s number, but
only for a 40-60 profit split. We hear they’re looking for something
new.
Read more:
Eminem files for divorce again after three months – Reuters
[story by Shawn Lindseth]