It’s been a weird week – there have been giant petrol explosions, earthquakes, executions, Australian race riots. But we know what you really want to know – just who is the best celebrity dog owner?
Well, worry no longer – it’s been revealed that wailing westcountry hippy Joss Stone has been named the best celebrity dog owner in the world. And, typically desperate to elbow her way into every news story ever, Paris Hilton has been named the worst celebrity dog owner. Joss Stone – who’s a good girl? Who’s a good girl then? Paris Hilton – in your basket!
For a while we were worried that Joss Stone (CDs) was nothing more than a human theremin with lank hair and a Gap advertisement contract. We needn’t have worried, though. Because Joss Stone also quite likes dogs. No, scrap that – Joss Stone loves dogs very very much indeed.
In fact, Joss Stone loves dogs so much that she owns a poodle and
calls it Dusty Springfield. Not sure why, maybe Joss Stone’s poodle has
drug and alcohol addictions. Or maybe it did a duet with The Pet Shop
Boys. We just don’t know.
But Joss Stone’s rampant love of dogs stretches further than just
owning one and naming after a dead singer. Joss Stone also volunteered
for the North Shore Animal League America after seeing
images of pets stranded in the aftermath of hurricanes Katrina and
Wilma, and also recorded a public service
announcement seeking support for the homeless pets of the Gulf Coast,
according to The New York Dog and The Hollywood Dog magazines. Leslie
Padgett, editor of the dog magazines, sang Joss Stone’s praises thus:
"Joss is a huge advocate for shelter dogs and it’s not just talk. This year, despite an
incredibly hectic schedule, she went out of her way to help the dogs of
Katrina and Wilma."
Second
in the best celebrity dog owner poll was Ashley Olsen, who adopted a
dog this year. Third-best celebrity dog owner was Tori Spelling, who
campaigned for a shelter or something.
But worst celebrity dog owner inevitably went to Paris Hilton. We’re
just going to cut to Leslie Padgett’s quote for this. It’s a doozy:
"First she loses Tinkerbell, then she ditches her for a cuter dog, then
replaces that dog with a ferret, then a kinkajou monkey and then, I
gather, a goat. Recently Tinkerbell was
spotted back in Paris’ arms. But how long will she be in favour this
time?"
We don’t really see the point of real dogs any more. We’d much rather have a Sony Aibo. It’s like a real dog, but if you show it a CD cover, it’ll play programmed MP3 tracks stored inside it’s brain. And it walks to the recharger when it runs out of battery. And it doesn’t shit everywhere. And it doesn’t die if you forget to feed it. We’re not making that mistake again.
If you’re a dog lover, you’ll enjoy the eBay Dog items we’ve got to show you
Read more:
Joss Stone named best celebrity dog owner – ABC
[story by Stuart Heritage]